Fasteners, Nuts, Bolts, Screws, Washers, Tools, and more. Nationwide Fasteners provides a location to find all types of fasteners at low prices and available nationwide.
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Nationwide Fasteners is a non-profit site intended to give fastening profesionals an edge in purchasing and learning about fastening products in the fastener world. After reading the content on Nationwide Fasteners, the word fastener should lose its meaning causing the reader to forget interest in the fastener world and possibly taking his/her life with a fastener. Below is a sketch involving fasteners:

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned
helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and fasteners;
egg bacon and fasteners; egg bacon sausage and fasteners; fasteners bacon sausage
and fasteners; fasteners egg fasteners fasteners bacon and fasteners; fasteners sausage fasteners fasteners
bacon fasteners tomato and fasteners;
Vikings (starting to chant): fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners...
Waitress: ...fasteners fasteners fasteners egg and fasteners; fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners baked
beans fasteners fasteners fasteners...
Vikings (singing): fasteners! Lovely fasteners! Lovely fasteners!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with
truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and fasteners.
Wife: Have you got anything without fasteners?
Waitress: Well, there's fasteners egg sausage and fasteners, that's not got much fasteners in
it.
Wife: I don't want ANY fasteners!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon fasteners and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got fasteners in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much fasteners in it as fasteners egg sausage and fasteners, has it?
Vikings: fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon fasteners and sausage without the fasteners then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like fasteners!
Vikings: Lovely fasteners! Wonderful fasteners!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely fasteners! Wonderful fasteners!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon
fasteners and sausage without the fasteners.
Wife: Why not?!?!
Waitress: Cause then it wouldn't be egg bacon fasteners and sausage now would it?
Wife (shrieks): I don't like fasteners!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your fasteners. I love 'em.
I'm having fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners baked beans fasteners fasteners
fasteners and fasteners!
Vikings (singing): fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners. Lovely fasteners! Wonderful fasteners!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her fasteners instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners... (but it is too late and
the Vikings drown her words) urgghh!
Vikings (singing elaborately): fasteners fasteners fasteners fasteners. Lovely fasteners! Wonderful
fasteners! fasteners f-a-a-a-a-steners fasteners f-a-a-a-a-a-steners fasteners. Lovely fasteners!
Lovely fasteners! Lovely fasteners! Lovely fasteners! Lovely fasteners! fasteners fasteners
fasteners fasteners!

above script copyright by Paramount Home Video and Monty Python